4 Reasons You’re Afraid to Be Vulnerable With Your Writing
4 Reasons You’re Afraid to Be Vulnerable With Your Writing
And 4 reasons you need to open up
Argh. I did it again. I started last week’s piece intending to discuss my feelings around AI and how complicated technology has gotten, and I ended up writing a term paper on writing groups.
Why am I doing this?
I feel like I’ve turned into some student robot who can only turn in class assignments. Like I’m afraid to share opinions or be vulnerable about an idea - which is funny because people who know me will most likely say I’m not shy about sharing my views when I speak.
But putting something in writing is like putting a stake in the ground. It lasts forever, especially with today’s digital technology. That’s one of the reasons I write books - I love the thought that my words will remain forever. So how come I’m struggling to be vulnerable?
I want to figure this out. After some research and sitting on a cushion, I came up with a few reasons I might be stifling myself. They are:
Fear of being judged and criticized, i.e., fear of rejection
Fear of being misunderstood
Thinking no one would care or read my work
Believing I have nothing to contribute
OMG, I’m still letting the kids from junior high and high school get to me! I’m still playing small. I still have low self-esteem. I’m still afraid to show the world who I am.
Okay, things aren’t quite that bad. But there are still shades of fear in how I present myself to the world. So my quest is to learn to express myself from the inside out. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I’m determined to find a way. Maybe improv classes will help.
Why We All Need to Share Our Thoughts and Opinions
Opening up, being vulnerable, sharing ourselves - it’s all important to living our lives to the fullest. Some reasons I think we should be more open:
Connection. I want to connect with others. I want to feel part of the world. And, for me, the only way to do that is through words. Words have the power to bring people together - and to rip them apart. Words connect. And as humans, we’re built to connect. If you want to find your tribe, be yourself. They will find you.
Artificial Intelligence (AI). Writers will soon need to shift from more technical, how-to explanatory writing to sharing opinion and thought pieces because of AI. We’ll need to include our personality in our words. I’ll finish my article about that soon, but, in short - AI is already writing general how-to-type articles and is doing a pretty good job at it. And not to freak you out, but AI is already starting to share feelings and thoughts. It’s learning faster than developers ever thought. Trust me, it’s scary. And I will terrify us all shortly.
Mental Health. Bottling up emotions is a breeding ground for disease and dysfunction, so it helps all of us to be more open about our feelings, whether in writing or through speech.
You’ll feel better. You might feel embarrassed or ashamed when you post, but you’ll feel great when you realize the sun is still coming up every morning. And you’ll feel even better if you get support and positive feedback.
How to Be More Vulnerable In Your Writing
A couple ideas on how to open up more in your writing:
Take a deep breath and do it. We’re all scared of something. Open up to your truth and get it on the page. You might surprise yourself and find others who feel the same. You don’t have to share it with anyone when you start. Just get used to putting your feelings on paper.
Free write. Don’t censor yourself, and get your thoughts down without stopping. You can edit later.
Read. Find writers you love who write openly. Let them inspire you.
Hmmm. Seems I turned my opinion piece into a bit of a listicle, so I’ll consider this a half-and-half piece. Forward progress, but I’ve got a ways to go before I can find words to make you laugh and cry. Stay tuned. It’s coming. Hopefully. Oh, dear….
Stay in Touch
If you'd like to stay in touch, please do!
Please subscribe now if you aren't, (free and paid)
If you're Facebook-friendly, please follow and like my Facebook author page!
I have a Medium account if you’re a member. Right now I tend to be cross-publishing, but I’ll most likely put some original content here in Substack and on Medium as time goes on, and I get the financial side of my writing career sorted out. (Meaning, I don’t have time right now to write original pieces in two places, promote a book, and write a new one….) But please follow me there if you’re a Medium person.
Also Twitter - @dianehatz and Instagram - @wholehealthygroup
And Finally
Next Draft is broken up into different sections to cover several topics, including the main Next Draft category (quarterly zine mainly), Indie Publishing & Marketing, Rock Gods & Messy Monsters, Writing Process, and Self-Care/Spirit.
When you subscribed, you were most likely signed up for all sections. If you’re only interested in specific topics, simply hit the unsubscribe button and uncheck any sections you’re not interested in receiving. Thanks!
You know what sound like? A WRITER!! We’re all afraid of those things. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing openly and honestly!! That’s The Juice 🧃
❤️❤️❤️
The Black Snake of Wounded Vanity
https://blacksnakeofvanity.substack.com/
I like this change. Please, please be vulnerable. Spill, Diane, spill. I've reached a point in my life, partly due to successful therapy and partly due to age—my dead grandfather, beloved Billy, used to talk about being "as old as Methuselah's goat" (who, Methuselah not the goat, died at 969 years old according to the always-accurate Bible)—I don't fear being vulnerable any more. Now, I have some opinions about some hot-button issues that I would not share broadly, but in general terms I say what I want. As you allude to, it is very psychologically healthy to do so. Very liberating. I am an intelligent person, as you are, and my view is as likely to be accurate, or to resonate with people, as anyone else's. And of course the important thing is that it doesn't matter whether it resonates with others. If it's what you feel and believe, that's all the legitimacy you need. The risk of hesitating to be vulnerable is of course self-censorship, and that's no path to go down (it gets narrow near the end). You can also ask: what's the worst that can happen. Someone will read it and think you don't know what you're talking about. Or they'll troll you. Or generally say bad things. Or decide never to read you again. I find an analogy in why it's always best to tell the truth to the best of your ability: you can never be called on it. Whereas if you're an inveterate liar, or a people pleaser, you (in the sense of "one") will always have to be explaining yourself and backtracking and changing your views and, worst of all, saying something even though you don't believe it. Again, I like this change. I didn't like the previous article very much that you referred to. But I now look forward to seeing you with your hatz off ...