Feminine Wisdom & the Patriarchy: Reclaiming Our Power
It's time for us to stand in our truth and be our best selves.
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Even with everything happening in the world today, feminine wisdom is not lost. It might have been pushed down, talked over, and reshaped to fit someone else’s mold, but it’s still there. And it’s time we stopped pretending we can live without it.
For thousands of years, dominant systems have treated logic, control, and individualism as the gold standard, while dismissing intuition, emotion, creativity, and connection. That’s patriarchy.
What is Patriarchy?
According to Oxford Languages, patriarchy is defined as “a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line.”
It’s a social system where men hold disproportionate power and privilege simply for being men, often leading to gender inequality and the oppression of women.
Some women help enforce the patriarchy by the way they act and treat other women, so this system is not only about men. And there are men who believe in equality and work to uplift women, so both genders contribute to keeping it alive and are also working to dismantle it.
The patriarchy is also a system that decides what has value and what doesn’t, and, frankly, for most of us in the West, that’s been white men. And a woman's way of knowing and ways of leading, relating, and sensing have often been left out of that equation.
According to historian Gerda Lerner in The Creation of Patriarchy, this system began over 5,000 years ago, intentionally shaping society in ways that sidelined feminine insight.
Fast forward to now, and we still see it. A 2023 LeanIn.org report (that’s ex-Facebook Sheryl Sandberg’s group) showed that women make up over half the workforce but hold only ten percent of the Fortune 500 CEO roles. That gap isn’t about talent’ it’s about who gets chosen and what gets rewarded, and what still gets ignored.
Why This Happens
This didn’t happen by accident. Patriarchal systems are designed to reinforce themselves. They teach us early on what’s “good” and what’s “weak.” We internalize those messages, even when we think we aren’t affected by them.
According to a 2016 study published in AERA Open, teachers often unconsciously favor boys by giving them more attention and rating them as more proficient, especially in subjects like math, even when girls perform the same.
In fact, the study found that as early as first grade, teachers consistently rated boys' math abilities higher than those of girls, despite both genders having the same achievement and learning behaviors.
We women eventually learn not to trust our gut. We’re told we’re too emotional, too sensitive, and too much, from both men and women. Over time, we disconnect from the very parts of ourselves that guide us.
This happens in small ways, like second-guessing your instincts in a meeting. It also happens in bigger ways like staying silent when something feels wrong because you don’t want to be labeled “difficult” or a “b*tch.”
Patriarchy hurts everyone. It limits men, flattens relationships, and creates cultures where power is hoarded instead of shared. But women, especially those going through a midlife change, often feel the weight of it most.
What It Really Means
Feminine wisdom isn’t soft or sentimental. It’s fierce and discerning, and it’s deeply needed. Especially today.
When we talk about archetypes like the healer, the visionary, and the truth-teller, we’re not making things up. We’re talking about the kinds of ancient wisdom that have always been part of human survival. These are types of knowing that live in our bodies, our stories, our art, and our lineages.
Reclaiming that doesn’t mean rejecting logic or structure. It means refusing to let those be the only things that matter. It means allowing both logic and intuition, strength and softness, action and rest to be part of our lives. It also means allowing women to have equal voice and opportunity.
How To Begin / What To Practice
Some suggestions to help you reclaim feminine wisdom in your life include:
Trust yourself
Your intuition isn’t some mystical thing, and it’s not woo. It’s your brain, body, and past experiences all speaking a truth to you. Listen and give it the weight and attention it deserves.
If you’d like to learn more about developing your intuition, check out The Intuitive Voice Podcast with Martha Arnett and Angela Huebner.
Rebuild your creative muscle
What form of creativity are you called to? Writing, art, music, gardening, cooking, etc. - there are so many ways to express yourself.
Journal. Walk. Write messy first drafts. Cook without a plan. Let something flow from you without worrying about perfection of what other people think.
Our creativity is our strength, so find out how you like or need to express yourself - and go do it. For me, it’s writing fiction. What is it for you?
Find or build community
Look for or create spaces where you don’t have to explain yourself to be understood and where being uncertain isn’t seen as weakness but part of being alive and awake.
Look for other people where you can ask the deeper questions of life without being shut down or redirected. You can do it in mixed company, but, to start at least, I suggest you find or start a women’s group.
Earlier this year, I started Women Writers in the Wild here in New Mexico. Each month women gather to read original work, share stories, and simply relax in each others’ company under the wide open blue skies of the desert and mountains.
In a culture shaped by patriarchy, we’ve been taught that certainty, control, and performance are signs of strength, and that doubt or vulnerability makes us less credible. But that’s not true real feminine wisdom lives in the spaces in between the two in nuance, curiosity, and connection.
That’s why we need each other, not to fix or rescue but to reflect and hold space for. Having someone say “I hear you” can be enough.
Speak your truth
I know this isn’t easy for a lot of women, but say the thing you’ve been holding back, especially if it's scary.
Share your experiences, even if your voice shakes. Most of the women who’ve been to my Women Writers in the Wild event (and this includes me) have stood at a mike in the middle of the desert, voice and knees shaking, and it’s making us all stronger.
Tell the truth about your life in order to connect. All of our stories hold power, and when you speak them out loud, you’re both reclaiming your voice and giving others permission to do the same.
So let’s do our best to stand tall, be proud, and rage against the machine!
Quick Note: I know! I’ve done it again. I’ve changed the name of this Substack to Hearth Writes with Diane Hatz. The focus is generally the same - helping women 40+ navigate life change, though now with more of a focus of discovering our voice through the written word. I’ll continue to have articles like this on healing and transformation, but you’ll also see pieces on the indie writing and publishing process. Writing is a powerful way to heal and find ourselves. Thanks so much for sticking with me as I refine and refocus my work!