The Quiet Phase Before Everything Changes

Why feeling stalled can be a necessary part of becoming (article and video)

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There’s often a quiet before a transformation happens, a stillness that can feel empty or uncertain. Or you’re doing things like writing, recording, networking, or trying to achieve a goal - but you aren’t getting any traction and nothing is happening. I’m there right now myself, and it isn’t fun.

But that silence and lack of momentum isn’t saying nothing is happening. It means that everything is rearranging and being created beneath the surface.

This strange, quiet phase that shows up right before life shifts, when things feel stalled, confusing, or even lost, is easy to mistake for failure, but it’s actually the pause before rebirth.

I’m still in this phase myself, and I have to say it can really suck, like really suck. I feel like I’m starting to come out of it (at least, I hope I am!), but I’ve felt lost and stagnated for years. And it’s not fun.

But in order to reinvent, discover, or change how and who we are, or what we want to do with our lives, this phase is essential.

For me, the quiet phase has shown up many times, like after a job ended, when a project wrapped, or even after deep healing work. I’ll feel restless, like I should be doing, pursuing, or achieving something. But there’s nothing to do, and no opportunities come my way.

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But every time, that stillness turned out to be a threshold. It’s the in-between, the space where the old has ended but the new hasn’t arrived yet.

Plainly put, it’s uncomfortable. Our culture doesn’t value waiting. Instead, it values doing, producing, and fixing. And trust me, I’m the queen of go, go, go, so it’s excruciatingly hard for me to be patient.

I think most people have a tendency to push through this uncomfortable feeling, or push it away to not feel it, rather than let it wash through. The hard part for me is accepting that this phase of quiet in between can last a week or a year, or more!, and there’s nothing I can do to rush it. Trust me, I’ve tried.

I’ve learned that transformation has its own rhythm, and sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop forcing and start listening, no matter how long it takes. And to realize this period is transformative in itself and full of so much depth. We just need to still ourselves to experience it.

Think of a quiet phase like winter - things look barren, but there’s life beneath the soil. Roots are growing, foundations are strengthening, but it’s invisible to the eye.

That happens inside us as well. When we’ve let go of something like an identity, relationship, or a dream, we need time to rest and reorient before the next version of us can emerge. And many of us need time to grieve.

This isn’t stagnation; it’s gestation. It’s the sacred pause between what was and what will be. It’s something to be honored and cherished.

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Below are five things I’ve learned to help get through this phase:

Don’t label this period as wrong

Even though you might feel lonely and disconnected, the quiet isn’t punishment. It’s preparation. No matter what’s happened, nothing is wrong.

Honor the stillness

Give yourself permission to rest and to not know. If you tend toward anxiety and are a doer like me, this can be really hard, but I do my best to step into my stillness.

When I go for a walk, I’ll stop and take a couple of minutes to look around. I empty my mind as much as I can and take in the mountains, sky, and desert around me.

When I tap into it, even for a minute, it’s pretty cool.

Listen inward

Once you start getting comfortable being still, you’ll begin hearing what’s inside you. That’s your intuition building muscle.

Simplify

Let your days be less busy, be gentle with yourself, and don’t feel like you have to do anything spectacular. Find joy in the ordinary around you. One of my great joys is getting in my car and driving into the mountains, or going for a walk on one of my favorite trails.

Trust timing

When your energy returns, it won’t be subtle - you’ll feel it. You’ll know it’s time to move again. I’ll let you know when that happens with me….

If you feel you’re on a hamster wheel and not going anywhere, or you feel like you’ve given it all you’ve got but nothing is happening yet, you’re not alone.

Keep going because perseverance wins in the end. This pause, this stillness, is sacred - it’s where your next self is forming.

Transformation begins in silence and ends with a new you.

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